Thursday, June 26, 2008

R4P2D13 What Is Wrong With Me?

Round 4 Phase 2 Day 13 VLCD 11
1.0ml (161.2iu) HCG IM injection # 13
Starting Weight on 08.18.07: 197lbs
R3 LIW: 161.4
Starting R4 Wt: 164.2
Yesterday's Wt: 159.8
Today's Wt: 160.4
Today's LOSS/GAIN: +0.6lb
R4 Total Loss to Date: 3.8lbs

I did really good during the day and after getting to the bowling alley, it was downhill from there. I'm surprised at such a small gain for everything that I ate plus when I got home from work I weighed myself and I weighed 159.6. Go figure. Since I ate at the bowling alley, my game was a bit better than the day before. The guy with the cheesy lines was bowling next to us and he started with me again. He asked if I had done my background investigation on him and I told him that I had. I told him flat out that he basically got around. Of course, he denied everything and that they are all liars. He left me alone the rest of the night.

My teammate Louie will be taking me on base Saturday to get my ball drilled. He told me that he was going to invite me to Rudy's BBQ before getting to the bowling alley but he was having problems with his vehicle's air conditioner. Why would he taunt me like this? I think someone upstairs was watching over me because in the morning I was ready to buy a burrito and deviate early and that he wasn't able to take us to get BBQ but when the chips and salsa arrived, my angel and will power left. The burrito girls never showed up so no burrito for me.

Sorry, I'm just rambling because I'm tired and I don't want to be on the internet for very long at work. Fourth of July is just around the corner and I don't know what to do. Tomorrow is our annual cookout here at the station but it starts at 3pm and I get off at 2pm. I really don't feel like driving back to the station once I get home. I would like to bring my daughter but I really don't feel like it. We'll see.

Yesterday's Menu:
B: coffee w/half & half, Splenda, black coffee
L: 1 drained can of Albacore tuna, a squirt of mustard & pepper, small bag of Fritos
D: grilled chicken and steamed cauliflower
S: chips & salsa w/cheese and beans, ice cream cone from McDonald's

Becca, yes, being broke is not helping my situation. I did find a can of tuna so that's what I had for lunch. Tonight it will have to be eggs until payday tomorrow.

B, yes, and the bowling alley has some awesome food and nothing P2 friendly!!!


Becca said...

Mary, I sure don't know what to tell you, except no matter what, there will ALWAYS be temptations in the form of delicious foods. The difference is, what YOU decide to do about that.
Mary, I hope you know that this is only meant to help and I don't want to offend you in any way so if you want to skip this next part which is really just a "Tough Love" speech, well consider yourself warned....
The HCG gives you the ability to get the fat burning process started and it gives you the benefit of acting as an appetite suppressant, but those are just tools... The MAIN ingredient is your attitude and your determination to succeed because without the right mind-set you are setting yourself up for failure. I really do sympathize with you and all the trouble you are having but I don't know if it's because you are just burned out or if you really just don't have the right mindset to get serious. So please don't be mad that I'm telling you like it is because I'm doing it because I really care and I'm sad that you've been struggling for so long and not making much progress... You really have come so far. You've already lost almost 40 pounds and that is just incredible, but it seems like these last few months you've been losing the same 10 pounds over and over... and I was hoping we'd be finishing this whole thing together someday and nothing would give me more pleasure than to be saying "Hurray! Mary's made her goal!!!!" So without trying to be too bossy or tell you things that you already know, I want to end this (really long) comment with some heartfelt advice...
In order to succeed with this protocol you have to make up your mind that "cheating is not an option" and you have to just stick to that. Plan your meals ahead and make sure you always have access to P2 foods even if it means carrying them around with you in a cooler. And when you are around the tempting stuff, just push it to the other side of the table or put your napkin over it or put it on someone else's plate but you have to think inside your own head that "this is not for me right now. I will be able to have in in a few weeks but NOT now." And then you just turn your attention to what you CAN have. Remember what the posters on the yahoo forum used to say? "I am the boss of me!"? That is really true but I think you may have forgotten that and I just hope you can get that feeling back and get back on the losing train again.

This is all said in love and I hope you take it that way...

So by for now with love and hugs...